On October 2022, I participated to a Round Table on “Friendship in the Church and Church-Friendship” organized by the Brotherhood of Transfiguration and the S. Philarete Institute, in Moscow (by internet). Here are my responses to the questions. A book on this event was published recently in russian: Дружба в церкви и церковь-дружба. Свято-Филарeтовский, Москва, 2023)
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Question 1
In his book “The Pillar and Ground of the Truth”, in the chapter on friendship, Fr Pavel Florensky discusses the well-known ancient Greek notions of φιλία, στοργή, ἀγάπη ἔρως. He comes to the conclusion that Christian friendship is best described by the word φιλία. In his opinion, personal relationships in the church are expressed with greatest fullness in relations between friends. Fr Sergius Bulgakov, his close friend, almost a decade later responds to him saying, ‘there is friendship in the church, but the church is not friendship’. Bulgakov believed that relations between members of the church cannot be limited to personal friendship, that these ecclesial ties are broader, greater than personal friendship. What is your opinion about the place and meaning of friendship in the church?
I quite agree with Sergius Bulgakov’s answer to Pavel Florensky. Certainly, friendship should characterize the personal relations between members of the Church, but I think that the concept of friendship, like that of brotherhood, is part of a larger whole. And I would characterize this whole by the concept of “communion”.
Speaking from a Protestant perspective, I would like to present Martin Luther’s
At a time when part of the church was characterized by its decorum, pomp and power, Luther insisted that what constituted it in the first place was not the exterior, but the interior. As early as 1518, in the Augustinian tradition of the invisible church, he distinguished between the ‘outer church‘, characterized by its organization and rules, and the ‘inner church’, the personal communion of believers with Christ and, in him, with one another (or, to use an orthodox vocabulary, the mystical aspect of the Church)
The outer church must be at the service of the inner church. The concrete and formal existence of the Church must contribute to its existence before God. The outer church is « an assembly of bodies« , the inner church is « a gathering of hearts into one faith« :
« This community is composed of all those who have fellowship in true faith, hope and love, so that the essence, the life and the nature of Christendom is not an assembly of bodies, but a gathering of hearts into one faith, as St. Paul says (Eph 4,5 ff.) » (WA 6,277 ff.):
The place of the inner Church is not Rome, nor Geneva, nor Wittenberg, nor Canterbury, nor Jerusalem, nor Moscow, etc, nor any other place, but the believing heart. « He who believes, hopes, loves the most is the best Christian… Only true faith makes a Christian”.
In the same text quoted above, he says “Remember this well, then, that Christianity is a spiritual communion of souls through faith, and that no one can be considered a Christian by virtue of external signs… All these a non-Christian may possess, but they will never make him a Christian”.
For Luther, the church is essentially the ‘communion of saints’, the assembly of those who come together in fellowship with Christ and with one another: ‘Christendom is the communion of all those on earth who believe in Christ, as we confess in the Apostles’ symbol: « I believe in the Holy Spirit, in the communion of saints ». (WA 6,277ff)
This communion in Christ unites Christians who are like « one cake with Christ and with each other« . (WA 10,II,218,15) The Lord’s Supper is « a sign of the communion of all saints« . (WA 3,547,27).
Communion is expressed through material assistance and moral and spiritual support.
In his commentary on chapter 17 of John’s Gospel, Luther emphasizes the reality and central importance of communion. He sees the model of communion in the relationship between the persons of the Trinity. Because it is based on the union between the Father and the Son, it is more than a unity of thought and will.
It is because of this that Christianity is called the communion of saints. When a Christian suffers, the body suffers and will cry out its pain to Christ, its head who intercedes for us before the Father. This solidarity between the members of the body applies to Christians of all times: « We have this consolation: if (the world) attacks me, it attacks Peter, Paul, Mary, Isaiah and Christ, and if it attacks Christ, it attacks all the angels, the creatures and the Father » (WA 28,150).
In conclusion, I would say that Luther did not develop the concept of friendship in his writings. It was only in the 20th century that the Holy Spirit stressed the importance of friendship. But I am sure he would agree with Florensky when the latter speaks of the friendship that should characterise interpersonal relationships in the Church. I think he would also agree with Bulgakov when the latter says that the Church is more than friendship. Indeed, for Luther the church is above all “communion”, which includes friendship and brotherhood.
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Question 2
Talking to his disciples about the way they relate to each other, Jesus makes particular emphasis on equality. By this he means not so much social equality, but rather personal, an example of which is the relationship between children of the same father, i.e. brothers. It is also known that in the last hours of his earthly ministry, Jesus calls his disciples friends (John 15:15), which sounds like a climax, the highest point of his relationship with his apostles. ‘Friend’ and ‘brother’ – what do these two notions have in common in the New Testament and what are the differences if we take the ecclesial perspective?
The two concepts of friendship and brotherhood have in common that both are consequences of the communion established between God and us through Christ. Through his death and resurrection, not only does our relationship with God change, but also our relationship with each other. And this relation is characterized by friendship and brotherhood.
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Friendship
To explore the notion of friendship in the New Testament, I will focus on John 15:14-15: « You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you »
Jesus offers a new status to his disciples: he no longer calls them servants, but friends. This difference between the status of servant and friend can help us to understand what follows: « You did not choose me… »
To serve, to put myself at the service, is something I can choose to do. I can choose to serve a person, an employer, a cause… On the other hand, to be considered a friend is not my choice. Indeed, for the other to consider me as his friend, it is up to him to choose me. But I don’t have control over that.
So we cannot choose to become friends with Jesus. We can personally choose to be his servant, but to be considered his friend, he must choose us. But he makes that choice!
Jesus made the choice to call his disciples friends. He chose to make known to them all that he had heard from his Father. EVERYTHING! Absolutely everything. What a privilege for those first disciples! The Son kept no secrets from them. He shared his whole heart with them. Even though Jesus knew how fallible and often untrustworthy human beings are, he shared with them what was shared between him and the Father in that intimate circle.
The disciples are now fully aware of the identity and mission of the Son. They are invited to share that mission. They are not reduced to mere doers, unaware of what is going on in the « upper echelons » of decision-making (to use a current image). They know all the ins and outs; they are friends of the Lord. They too are invited to be part of the project of the Father and the Son, to be collaborators, to make this project their own.
The friendship that Jesus offers us is the root of the friendship that we can live with each other. Just as Jesus opened his heart to us, we can open our hearts to each other through Him. Friendship is first of all this: opening our hearts to our brother and sister. If we want to work together and do great things together, we must open our hearts to each other.
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Brotherhood and resurrection
In John’s gospel, it is only after his resurrection that Jesus calls his disciples ‘brothers‘, when he says to Mary Magdalene: « Go to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” (chap. 20,17) This is essential for us to understand the meaning of brotherhood in the Gospel.
There is a « universal brotherhood » which is rooted in the fact that every human being is created in the image of God and that God, because he is « Father Almighty », the creator of all humanity.
It is this kind of brotherhood that is expressed, for example, in the “Document on human fraternity” that was signed in Abu Dhabi by diverse religious leaders. https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/travels/2019/outside/documents/papa-francesco_20190204_documento-fratellanza-umana.html
But there is also a brotherhood according to the Gospel that is rooted in faith in the resurrection of Christ.
Through his incarnation Christ, our God, became our brother, he died and rose for us so that we become brothers and sisters in him. He turns us together towards his Father and our Father, he also turns us towards one another
We must therefore put the risen Christ at the heart of our relationships in order to live fraternity.
This is what I am experiencing very concretely in the JC2033 initiative with which I am collaborating. https://jc2033.org/en We are inviting the Churches to a pilgrimage towards 2033, the 2000 years of the death and resurrection of Christ. We put the risen Christ at the center. And we discover new brothers and sisters in all churches on all continents. And we want to live his way of life, witness to him in unity and prepare a great feast for him for this jubilee!
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“The sacrament of the brother”
We have to practice of the « sacrament of the brother », as Augustine said, and to become more aware of the deep link between prayer as the source of true selfless love and the “diakonia” of the neighbor as the fulfilment of prayer.
The parable of the Last Judgement (Mt 25) and the parable of the Good Samaritan emphasizes that by caring for one another, by being each other’s neighbour, we are in communion with Christ.
In John 13, the sign of foot washing in place of the Eucharist means that the Eucharist cannot be a rite detached from a coherent practice of agape. For John the sacrament of the altar must always be interpreted and lived as the sacrament of the brother (cf. Mat 5:23f).
Neglecting the sacrament of the brother leads to ritualism, to a kind of liturgical aestheticism.
In the Church of the first three centuries, not only the bread and wine were necessary for the celebration of the Eucharistic, but also our goods that we must share, as Justin says in his “Apology”.
And we all know what Chrysostom wrote: « You want to honour the body of Christ? Do not despise him when he is naked. Do not honour him here in the church with silk cloths, while you allow your brother to suffer from cold and lack of clothing.
Luther’s most influential text is his « Appeal to the German Nobility » published in 1520, in which he affirms the unity and equal dignity of all Christians through baptism in a two-tiered society divided between clergy and laity, monks and ordinary Christians. This sacrament brings each person into a new relationship with Christ and with his neighbor. It is truly a sacrament of brotherhood:
« My dear, » he wrote in a sermon of the same year, « through baptism you have entered into bonds of brotherhood with Christ, the angels and saints, and all Christians on earth; hold fast to that brotherhood and fulfill your duties to it, and it will suffice”.
The Church is, in the words of Martin Bucer, the reformer living in Strasbourg « a brotherhood where no one lives for himself ».
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Question 3
Through the ages, members of the church have always called each other brothers and sisters. Yet, in the course of history, there have been Christian communities that made different emphases in the way their members related to each other. And today too, we see a great variety of relationships within different Christian communities – both in the West and in the East. These communities may be called ‘fellowships’, ‘movements’, ‘communities’, ‘brotherhoods’, ‘fraternities’, ‘orders’ etc. Is the love that binds together Christian friends, Christians in a community, and Christians in a brotherhood the same kind of love?
I would like to reflect from my experience in the Focolare movement to which I have been connected for more than 25 years.
The Church is the place where the Holy Spirit is experienced. It can be lived in parishes, but also in communities and movements. Each of these communities participates in the mission of the Church with a charisma, a particular spiritual physiognomy.
These communities challenge us by their capacity to make the liberating Word of Christ resound, their concrete ecumenism and the accompaniment they offer to people in their journey of faith.
They are a call to the Church – especially those with strong structures – to rediscover the double dimension of the Church, as institution and charism. Ecclesial communion has suffered greatly from forgetting this second dimension. Without it, the life of the Church risks becoming essentially institutional.
There is then a risk of living together in formalism, indifference, or ignorance, or even in competition, mistrust, or open confrontation. But the Church is a living organism before being an organization. What matters above all are the relationships between its members.
And these communities are reminding us that the parish life has to be renewed, that it is first of all a great family, where agape is to be lived.
A new experience in recent years is that these communities and movements are coming together, seeking communion rather than competition. They discover that they have different and complementary charisms and are enriched in the encounter.
The annual meetings of “Together for Europe” where communities from the orthodox, catholic, protestant and evangelical Churches are coming together is a sign that the Spirit of communion is at work. It is in that context that I met the Brotherhood of transfiguration for the first time, and I am very grateful for that.
Each movement has a particular charisma. The beauty of the Church is revealed when they are put together and exchanged. In this context, a « charism » is understood as a way of living the Gospel that the Holy Spirit gives rise to in response to a need in a specific area: the poor, young people, families, on so on.
One of the current challenges is to recognize the contribution of the communities and movements. Churches and movements should not walk separately, but welcome, discern and communicate their gifts to each other.
Having said that, a charism present in a community or a movement is not a guarantee against crises. Recently there has been talk of several crises following revelations of abuses of all kinds, whether spiritual, sexual, or of power. Also in the Focolare Movement!
In his book on the crises facing fraternal communities, the economist Luigino Bruni (« La Destruction créatrice” (Creative Destruction, p. 40s) identifies the problem of control. Communities (but also, and above all, large companies) feel the growing need to control the actions of their members. This “culture of control” kills all freedom and perverts the true loyalty of members.
Bruni says that control only produces people with “bonsai virtues”. But bonsai trees do not bear fruit, and when they do, they are tiny and do not bear fruit.
If love is revived in a fraternal community, the “old man” continues to act in its members. This requires courage, humility and honesty to recognise this and to take the necessary steps to prevent deviations.
The “old man” who divides Christians in the Church is the same one who divides them in a Movement or a Brotherhood. And because the relationships are deep, the suffering this “old man” causes is perhaps greater!
At the last global meeting of the delegates of the Focolare Movement, in September, a time of truth was lived among them. They were able to talk about wounds left unspoken until now, on sufferings accumulated in personal life and in that of the Movement.
Margaret Karam, the new president of the Focolare, commented: « All of this was possible because we began by putting at the centre our relationship with God, prayer; then an atmosphere of great trust was created, a family atmosphere, where everyone was certain that they would never judge each other. Each of us put ourselves « in the other’s shoes », so that we could express what was most painful in ourselves. I was struck how everything was expressed with balance: behind each intervention, there was undoubtedly suffering, but no condemnation. The mistakes, the faults, the shared sufferings have not diminished our faith in the charism, which is a gift from God, because beyond all that, there is a light that continues to illuminate our path”. (Update from the meeting of the 23. September 2022, Castelgandolfo)
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Question 4
What do you think Christianity has added over the two thousand years of its history to the experience of love expressed by the ancient Greek notions of ἔρως, φιλία, στοργή, ἀγάπη? What new meanings of love have been revealed in the New Testament era?
I would like to speak about the new commandment which, in my opinion, gives a deep meaning to love: “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13,34).
The emphasis is put on the “As I have loved you”. We have in Jesus an example of what love is and of the realisation of love, through his kenosis and self-offering.
The commandment is given between the announcement of Judas’ betrayal and Peter’s denial. This makes me think.
Jesus has just washed the feet of his disciples. He calls his own to wash their feet too: ‘If I, the Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also must wash one another’s feet’ (v.15).
Jesus takes the initiative and expects a response from us.
But the responses of Judas and Peter are betrayal and denial!
Instead of responding to love with love, service with service, self-giving with self-giving, attention with attention. And so that love circulates, deepens and radiates, it is possible to withdraw, to close oneself off from love.
Judas and Peter are not two « bastards”, but represent a possible response from each of us.
What does it mean to betray?
You can betray someone’s interests, your friend’s trust, someone’s secret. You can also betray the truth, your conscience, your duty, your promise, your faith, your oaths, your country.
What does « to deny » mean?
To deny is to no longer recognise someone or something for what it is, to consider that one no longer has a link with them: one’s family, one’s friend, one’s colleague. It is also to declare against the truth that one does not know a person or a thing.
Which is worse: betraying or denying?
Who is more guilty: Judas or Peter?
And who among us has never betrayed or denied? But perhaps these words are too strong, too heavy with associations?
Let’s use softer words!
When I hide my Christian identity, when I do not defend someone who is unjustly or exaggeratedly accused, when I do not recognise the value of a colleague, when I withdraw into my own interests or those of my family, my country, my community or even my Church, am I not betraying the ideal of reciprocity that Jesus expects of us?
When I refuse to forgive, put the other person at a distance or do not want to welcome them, am I not denying the Christ of communion?
« The glory of the Son of Man is revealed », says Jesus just after announcing the betrayal of Judas.
What is this glory? The glory of remaining in love to the end, despite those who deny, betray, insult and despise.
By living in this way, Jesus reveals the glory of God, which is precisely reciprocal and Trinitarian love, continuous perichoresis. Jesus reveals and lives this new commandment, which he has always lived in the Trinitarian communion.
He became man so that this « law of heaven » – reciprocal love – could be lived on earth, in order to make each cell of humanity a little corner of heaven and to prepare us for what is lived in heaven.
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Question 5
The church includes both non-hierarchical and hierarchical relations. In the case of civil or military service the conflict between duty and friendship is clear enough. But what about the church? How do hierarchical relations and friendship coexist?
Because God is love in Christ, the norm of standards is mutual and constant charity. And this is for all: the hierarchy and the people.
In the church, living baptism comes first. For all:
When we live it, Jesus silently enters into our midst and fulfils his promise.
His promise is to give us clarity of mind and peace of heart.
When we live our baptism, the risen Christ comes, he enlivens his mystical body…he opens up little ways yet unknown to gather his divided flock.
So I must seek to live this with all my brothers and sisters.
With a person in charge of a hierarchical responsibility, I try to see first the brother or the sister who is baptised and called, like me, to live the Word of Christ.
In the context of JC2033 Last month I wrote to a patriarch like that:
Your holiness,
And then, dear Brother in Christ.
With my brothers and sisters in my own church, with my fellow pastors and deacons in particular.
With those in another church. When I seek to love a member of the faithful, a priest, a pastor or a bishop of another church, the unity with the other church will grow and so will my union with God.
With everyone, without any exclusion of race, class or religion.
Praying together, people with an authority or simple people, is also a wonderful gift, a sign of hope. Praying for more love, more Spirit: « In my prayer I ask that your love may cause you to grow more and more in true knowledge and insight, so that you may discern what is most important. (Phil. 1:10).